tyrion

Tyrion had kept the truth of that from Penny but she needed to understand how things stood with their master.

"Why, I did not know your wife was in the company, " said Tyrion.

The other dwarf felt his stare. When he raised his head and saw Tyrion, the spoon slipped from his hand.

The stump of Tyrion's nose was itching fiercely. He gave it a scratch.

Tyrion got down on his hands and knees and began to crawl about the deck, gathering up pieces.

"How did she die? " Tyrion knew that she was dead; no man spoke so fondly of a woman who had abandoned him.

Tyrion had finished them all by their third day at sea. Then, for lack of any other books, he started reading them again.

Tyrion did not like the look of him. He liked the big black bear on his surcoat even less.

Tyrion seized her by the wrist, pulled her to her feet, and threw a fistful of clothing into her face.

Tyrion craned his head to one side, and saw a boy standing on the roof of a low wooden building, waving a wide-brimmed straw hat.

"Selhorys. " Haldon produced a small knife from his sleeve. "Here, " he said, tossing it underhand at Tyrion.

"Wine helps me sleep, " Tyrion had protested. Wine drowns my dreams, he might have said.

"As you say. " Tyrion grinned. "If I were Volantene, and free, and had the blood, you'd have my vote for triarch, my lady. "

He kicked the door shut, ripped the duck in two, and tossed half of it to Tyrion.

Tyrion used to say that King Baelor was terrified of his own cock.

Tyrion covered his mouth with his hands. Meereen!

The next day Tyrion encountered her and her spotted sow amidships in midafternoon, when the air was warm and the sea calm.

"Better than you know, " said Tyrion, refusing to rise to the bait.

"Much of it, " Tyrion admitted. "I see that you are somewhat more than a cheesemonger after all. "

"Too many good men died that day. " Tyrion's scar was itching fiercely. He picked at it with a fingernail.

That pricked the lad's pride, just as Tyrion had known it would. "Go fetch the board and pieces. This time I mean to smash you. "

Tyrion twisted around for a look, hoping against hope that it was Duck and Haldon he was hearing.

"Not by us. " Tyrion signed another sheet. And another. He had found a rhythm now. "A Lannister always pays his debts. "

Jorah Mormont finally took pity on Tyrion's struggles and pulled him to his feet. "You looked a fool. "

Tyrion drove the dagger's point into the ball of his thumb, watched the blood bead up, sucked it away.

Ser Rolly grabbed Tyrion by the collar. "Let us see how dwarfs swim, " he said, chucking him headlong into the Rhoyne.

He was no friend to me. Yet Tyrion Lannister found himself turning to Nurse and saying, "You cannot let her have him. "

"It was sweet, " lied Tyrion, "but I am married. She was with me at the feast, you may remember her. Lady Sansa. "

Tyrion gave the rotting head a second look. Why, it almost looks as if those lips are smiling.

"An uncle of mine gave them to me when I was just a boy, " said Tyrion. "I read them until they fell to pieces. "

Tyrion hopped down to work the cramps out of his calves whilst Duck and Haldon were watering the horses.

Well, yours is, thought Tyrion, and thank the gods for that. "True, but I will not be a sellsword until I've signed your book. "

And the nights were worse. Tyrion slept badly at the best of times, and this was far from that.

Ysilla glared at Tyrion and made a peculiar stabbing gesture with three of her fingers. A sign to ward off evil.

And quick as that she was gone again, retreating back below to the cabin she shared with her dog and sow. Tyrion could not fault her.

Tyrion fumbled back into his clothes again and groped his way to the stair.

Tyrion realized he would do well to be careful around Haldon Half-maester. "Every dwarf is a bastard in his father's eyes. "

Tyrion wiped the blood from his split lip with the back of his hand.

In these troubled times, Tyrion is leading his people once more against the armies of Naggaroth.

Yes, Tyrion wanted to say. Give me a crossbow, and I'll show you my favorite. "No, " Ser Jorah answered.

Tyrion crossed his arms and looked behind him, studying the faces of the men and women who had stopped to listen.

"Why? " wondered Tyrion. "Meereen is long leagues across the sea. How has this sweet child queen offended Old Volantis? "

"Where? " Tyrion saw nothing but the fog. "Something moved. I saw the water rippling. "

The wine, the food, the sun, the sway of the litter, the buzzing of the flies, all conspired to make Tyrion sleepy.

To atone for that Tyrion made an attempt to teach her cyvasse, though he soon realized that was a lost cause.

His pets, thought Tyrion. And he loved us so much that he sent us to the pit, to be devoured by lions.

Hacking off afflicted parts did sometimes stop the spread of the disease, Tyrion knew, but not always.

Tyrion plucked at his scar and wondered if he ought to make a show of indignation.

Oh, Seven save me. Tyrion turned away and began rooting amongst some piles of old armor toward the back of the wagon.

Penny gave Tyrion some acorns, and he let Pretty eat them from his hand.

Tyrion gave her a lascivious grin. "A clever slave deserves a clever master, and you lot all look like fools. "

Tyrion helped him dress for the bout, in heavy breeches, padded doublet, and a dinted suit of old steel plate.

My perfect woman, Tyrion thought bitterly. One still young enough to believe such blatant lies.

Welcome to die, you mean, thought Tyrion. What threat could he pose to a big man like you? He is only a dwarf.

Tyrion had to move both hands at once, but his chains had just enough give for him to reach the flagon on the table.

Tyrion hopped down off his chair with a rattle of iron. This should be enlightening.

Tyrion shook his head to clear away the webs of dream. The Sorrows. I was lost in the Sorrows. "I am not dead. "

Tyrion found Penny asleep in a corner of their tent, curled up on a thin straw pallet beneath a heap of soiled bedclothes.

Tyrion gave him a crooked grin. "Might I read them first? "

"How kind of you to offer, " said Tyrion. "I think not. "

Tyrion had no sooner exhaled than Young Griff grabbed hold of his arm.

"Us? " Tyrion exchanged a hopeless glance with Penny. "Water's heavy. We're not so strong as you. Can we . . . can we take the mule cart? "

Tyrion forced himself to smile at the man. "Tell him that it is even better luck to suck on a dwarf's cock. "

Yes, Father, Tyrion almost said. "As you say, my lord. "

Tyrion Lannister had no use for any god, but on this ship it was wise to show a certain respect for red R'hllor.

They chanted in the tongue of Old Volantis, but Tyrion had heard the prayers enough to grasp the essence.

He was on the Shy Maid, Tyrion saw, under a scratchy blanket that smelled of vinegar. The Sorrows are behind us.

Tyrion saw it too. Kingfisher, or another pole boat, he told himself, but somehow he knew that was not right.

Tyrion of House Lannister, he scratched out, promising to pay the bearer of the note one hundred golden dragons.

Even so, there was something in the air that made Tyrion uneasy.

Tyrion was underfoot amid-ships, so he climbed the forecastle and hunkered down, savoring the lash of cold rain on his cheeks.

"Do you mean to spend your whole life running away? " Tyrion asked before she could slip back out the door.

Tyrion stretched a hand out for his dragon.

"Myriad delights. " And huge thick walls. Tyrion swirled his wine in his cup. "We have seen no towns since Pentos. "

Tyrion blinked up at the dripping girl twisting in the air. "Why? " he demanded. "What did I ever do to you? "

"There is more coin in cheese than I knew, " said Tyrion. "How did you accomplish that? "

A kin slayer and fugitive, Tyrion assumes manifold roles in "Dragons" : mummer, soldier, paymaster, slave, river rat and captive.

Tyrion licked grease from his fingers.

"I'm for him, " Tyrion decided. "Bring me a slave girl. "

Twin to mighty Tyrion, Teclis is wholly the opposite of his brother.

They rode all night, with Tyrion sleeping fitfully, dozing against the pommel and waking suddenly.

"The girl finally poked her nose abovedecks, " Tyrion told him.

Tyrion glanced up from his writing. "My name is Hugor. Yollo is hiding in my breeches. Shall I let him out to play? "

They departed Pentos by the Sunrise Gate, though Tyrion Lannister never glimpsed the sunrise.

A homely maid, thought Tyrion, but sometimes the ugliest ones are the hungriest once abed.

"Garin's Curse is only greyscale, " said Tyrion.

"Not this night, " Tyrion said. "Let us joust for our master first and save the bear for some other time. "

mocked Tyrion, though in truth there was quite a lot of fog.

Did Benerro see this in his fires? Tyrion wondered, when he realized the huge red priest was gone. Did Moqorro?

"You are sold, " the auctioneer announced. Then he hit him again, just because he could. This time Tyrion went down.

Prince Tyrion is the greatest living warrior of the High Elves.

"It's open-faced. " Tyrion pinched her nose. "I am fond of looking at your nose. I would rather that you kept it. "

Tyrion plucked at a piece. It was so hot it burned his fingers, but so good he could not help but reach for another chunk.

Even amid the blood, the guts and the mead, Tyrion notes that his preferred weapons include "an ax, a dagger, a choice remark. "

Tyrion flicked the last drops off and tucked himself away.

"The w-water, " said Tyrion, cringing. "Not river water, the healer said. Clean, fresh well water. "

Tyrion is the mightiest High Elf warrior alive, some say the reincarnation of Aenarion himself.

The slave soldiers of Volantis were fiercely proud of their tiger stripes, Tyrion knew.

Prudent of you. Tyrion knew much and more about the gratitude of kings. Why should queens be any different?

Tyrion scratched at his scar and tried to recall the author's name.

Tyrion slept and woke and slept again, and day and night seemed not to matter.

"The night is still young, " said Tyrion.

"You were not so timid, though. " Tyrion could see where this tale was going easily enough.

Inkpots placed the parchments before Tyrion and handed him the quill.

Tyrion felt tendrils brush against his face, soft as a whore's fingers.

There was laughter here once, Tyrion thought.

I am traveling through years as well as leagues, Tyrion reflected, back through history to the days when dragons ruled the earth.

Death had lost its terror for Tyrion Lannister, but greyscale was another matter.

All Tyrion could see was something massive rising from the river, humped and ominous.

"There's no need for this, " Tyrion protested. "I will be a good little prisoner, I will, I will. "

"I would kill for a cup of wine, " muttered Tyrion.

He has a better ear than me, Tyrion was forced to admit, though I'll wager my tongue is still more nimble.

When the prince reached for his dragon, Tyrion cleared his throat.

Tyrion mopped at his face with a sleeve.

And why not? Tyrion grinned. Gods and wonders always appear, to attend the birth of kings.

Oh, good, thought Tyrion. If she gives her body to me, she is welcome to my soul, small and stunted though it is.

Tyrion Lannister had scant experience with other dwarfs.

Lemore emerged on deck with the prince in tow. When she saw Tyrion, she rushed across the deck to hug him.

The sudden cold hit Tyrion like a hammer.

Tyrion felt a sudden shock of recognition.

Tyrion shrugged. "Fortunately, I have no nose. "

after all, who can forget Jamie's infamy, Tyrion's dwarfism, or Jon's bastardy?

"Cut off my head and take it to King's Landing, " Tyrion urged her.

Brown Ben's smile never reached his eyes. He studied Tyrion as a man might study a talking snake. "Why are you here? "

"You pretend very well, " said Tyrion, examining a shirt of heavy iron mail so full of holes that it almost looked moth-eaten.

Tyrion turned to Young Griff and gave the lad his most disarming smile.

"A turtle, " said Tyrion. "A turtle bigger than this boat. "

The third was the man he sought. Tyrion bowed. "Captain. "

Not being an escaped slave, Tyrion need not fear being caught.

Tyrion gives Jon Snow good advice, but it is far easier said than lived.

Tyrion moved up his heavy horse to support the light.

"A sure cure for constipation, " said Tyrion.

"Well, " said Tyrion, "a maester does not need a cock. "

"You're Young Griff, son of Griff the sell sword, " said Tyrion.

Tyrion counted six, oaken chests with iron hasps.

"My lady hasn't seen my best part yet. " Tyrion grabbed his crotch, in case she missed his meaning.

Is it? Tyrion was inclined to doubt that. Parchments had been signed, but wars were not fought on parchments.

Tyrion rolled his mismatched eyes. "Lord Plumm, who are these two friends of yours? The pink one is annoying. "

Tyrion pulled apart two biscuits, filled them with bacon, and carried one to Yandry at the tiller.

There's a trade for my sweet sister, Tyrion mused.

Tyrion scratched his scar to keep from laughing.

"Was there a dragon? " Tyrion said with a shrug. "All I know is that no dead queens were found. "

Stone eyes are blind eyes, thought Tyrion.

Tyrion, of House Lannister, rightful lord of Casterly Rock, you sniveling worm. "Yollo. "

"You have a gift for making men smile, " Septa Lemore told Tyrion as he was drying off his toes.

Tyrion watched her closely.

Tyrion gave her his sweetest smile.

"A blunder, " said Tyrion.

This one will be trouble, Tyrion knew at once.

The man is a shell Tyrion thought the first time he saw the big knight beaten. I should have held my tongue and let Zahrina have him.

That night Tyrion Lannister dreamed of a battle that turned the hills of Westeros as red as blood.

Tyrion drove a shoulder into him.

"Good. " Tyrion picked up his pails. "This way, then. "

The first time they passed an elephant, Tyrion could not help but stare.

"We will, " said Tyrion, "and thank you. "

That's because they have never seen a dwarf before, in their wretched pisspot towns, Tyrion thought.

Tyrion was less certain about the captain, who always emerged for the evening prayers but took no other part in them.

The heat from the glowing coals brought a flush to Tyrion's face. "Is there a Shrouded Lord? Or is he just some tale? "

That is an omen too, thought Tyrion, but not as hopeful. That night, drunker than usual, he broke into sudden song.

Tyrion Tells Two Lies and a Truth to the Small Council