Having suffered a head injury on United's summer tour of the United States and a knock to his shin against Chelsea last week, Hernandez is now back on the treatment table with a dead leg.

By eight, I was so frustrated and desperate to sleep that I hit my head against the wall in the middle of the night; if I couldn't fall asleep, I thought, I'd knock myself out.

Please do not hold your head high, or you might knock your head against some protruding stalactite.