Tuesday's beef shipment was plastered with stickers certifying the meat was derived from cattle younger than two and a half years old — widely seen as having a lower risk of mad cow disease.

If you don't work harder, you'll end up having to go to a cow college.

Mr Punch aptly described the product as a "wishy-washy triumph of art over nature … milk from the pump and chalk-pit, without ever having been possessed of a cow."